The hour long season finale of Here Comes Honey Boo Boo was weighed down with the crazy. Baby Kaitlyn was born with two thumbs on her right hand; Uncle Poodle came to teach Alana a pageant routine; and Glitzy, my favorite cross-dressing teacup pig, was brought back.
The highly anticipated arrival of Baby Kaitlyn did not disappoint. While new Baby Kaitlyn and new Mama Chickadee were bonding in the hospital bed, we saw the leftovers of Chickadee's hospital meal tray, and, don't be surprised, it was grits. Honey Boo Boo announced to the world, "Baby Kaitlyn arrived on the biscuit express." Forget the stork. Everyone knows babies arrive on the biscuit express, duh.
Baby Kaitlyn was brought into this world, by the biscuit express, with an extra thumb on her right hand, and that's just one more thumb for the sucking. Honey Boo Boo was so excited to meet the new addition to their family that she said, "I'm so excited. I'm about to piss all over myself." Piss wasn't the only thing she was worried about though. Honey Boo Boo was also concerned that the "sunshine and happiness" smell of the baby would get overpowered by the baby's poop smell.
Kaitlyn's arrival coincided with one of Honey Boo Boo's pageants, so Honey Boo Boo couldn't compete, but she wasn't disappointed in the slightest. One lesson that has been instilled in this feral Shirley Temple child is that family comes first, and she lives by that golden rule. Luckily, for Honey Boo Boo, Mama June was able to get her signed up for a later pageant titled "Miss Sparkle and Shine Pageant." Honey Boo Boo's gay uncle, who Honey Boo Boo affectionately calls Uncle Poodle, came to visit the family and help Honey Boo Boo with her routine. This child from a redneck, backwoods family has no problem with homosexuality, and that's why I love this family. Their open-mindedness is an unexpected delight for me. Honey Boo Boo yells into the camera, "Ain't nothing wrong with being a little gay." Uncle Poodle helps Honey Boo Boo or tries to help Honey Boo Boo choreograph a pageant routine, but they end up having a grass fight.
Later, the whole family, complete with Baby Kaitlyn and Uncle Poodle, head to the "Miss Sparkle and Shine Pageant." When Honey Boo Boo is being dressed for formal wear she tells her Mama June, "I think I'm a little chunky today." Mama June tells Honey Boo Boo that she needs to stay away from the chicken nuggets, and little Honey Boo Boo pouts that she can't. This exchange between the two is a little sad. I'm not outraged by Mama June's response that Honey Boo Boo needs to stay away from chicken nuggets. I'm more concerned that Honey Boo Boo will never learn to make healthy food choices or learn to just cut back a little on her food intake. She's likely to become overweight during her teenage years. Right now, this cute, spunky seven year old girl with some belly chub could become an unhealthy, overweight, sluggish, loud, obnoxious adolescent. I don't want that to be her future.
Honey Boo Boo ended up winning "People's Choice" for the pageant, and she was very happy with herself, but she was even happier when Glitzy made an appearance at the end of the pageant crowning. I'm not sure why TLC brought Glitzy back in for a cameo. It was all a little strange, but who doesn't love a cross-dressing pig, so we'll let that go. Oh well, another pageant went by with Honey Boo Boo not winning a Grand Supreme title, but here's to hoping and here's to hoping for a second season. Cheers!
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