Honey Boo Boo Chile Makes Me Wanna Holla Gimme a Season 2, TLC!

"Here Comes Honey Boo Boo" is one of the latest additions to TLC's line-up of reality shows.  It's a spin-off from  "Toddlers and Tiaras" starring Alana (Honey Boo Boo) who is a 6 year old beauty queen from McIntyre, Georgia, which has an over-crowded population of approximately 700 people within its area of 5 square miles.  Mcintyre's only store is called Kuntry Stoe, and, then, there's the train that runs through Honey Boo Boo's backyard, which is surprisingly tidy with its maintained lawn and junk free carport. The smallish, white-washed house in which they live is tidy and organized too even with the extreme couponing purchases, and the house isn't tackied with the decor you might expect like rebel flags, Nascar figurines, stuffed animals won from county fairs, Budweiser lamps, a half empty Mountain Dew bottle with smoked down cigarettes in it, and so on.  The decor isn't in bad taste, and it has more of a "person doing the best with what they have" theme going on.

Alana (Honey Boo Boo) is a cocky, little sassified deeva with a Buddha belly, and I love her, and her whopper of an ego and her Buddha belly!  She knows how to give someone the what for too.  She's on the plumpish side and makes fun of her belly, but not in the way you might be thinking, not in a self-defacing way, but in a "I ain't got no prob'em wid my belleee" with some head shaking thrown in with the backtalk.  I think her (I can't believe I'm writing this) but I think her super mom has something to do with this. Her mom, June (Mama), tips the scale at a little over 300 pounds, has three other daughters with different baby daddies she says, and a live-in boyfriend who is also Honey Boo Boo's daddy named Sugar Bear who hovers at about 5 feet tall, dips tobacco, loves his girls, and ain't much of a talker. 

Well, June is great with Alana and with her other girls!  Alana is not your pageant brat freaking over a Grand Supreme title because of her mom.  Her mom makes her feel like you win, you lose, who gives a shit, Baby whereas the other moms are basically like "you, idiot, fug child, you ruined my crown for not blowing a kiss at the perverted and skin crawl creepy judges."  Other things make her mom great too.  Like she knows how to throw down and have a good time, and she cares about her weight enough to initiate a diet with one of her other chubz daugthers, but she isn't hard on herself or her daughters about their appearances or weight, and Mama doesn't obsess over what she calls her va-jiggle jaggle.  Like I mentioned, Mama keeps a clean, organized house, and doesn't holler at the girls or Sugar Bear.  This is a woman who chose to have a good life despite having a child at fifteen, another at seventeen, another child somewhere along the way, and Alana (or Honey Boo Boo) last.  She's embraced life and is, dare I say it, an inspiration for me.  She still hasn't embraced one of her toes, which was deformed when a fork lift ran over her foot.  She did, however, show it when she and the girls were at the water park, so she's coming around.  One detail that should be shared is that she wore a sock on her foot all day at the water park until the girls told her they'd be ready to leave if she showed it.  I can say I've fully embraced her toe and all.  Oh, and the subtitles that have to be read to understand what the hell she and others are saying is fine with me.  It doesn't destract, but, then again, I know their language.

If you're still unconvinced, this show is worth your time.  Here are some of the lines that had me stomping my foot and parrotting Honey Boo Boo.  Before I write these I need you to know that these are self-aware people.  They are in on the joke.  If you think you're laughing at them, you're dead wrong.  They flawed, funny, and know it.  That's what makes them lovable and endearing.

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Honey Boo Boo (Mama spraying Honey Boo Boo with tan in a can): "Spray tan's like poop in a can." (tan from can running out of and down from Honey Boo Boo's belly


Honey Boo Boo prepares herself for the water park: "I hope I don't see a bunch of wedgies at the waterpark. Vagiggle jaggles gonna be hanging out, though."


Honey Boo Boo:  When my belly hurts, it's usually gas. Or too many chicken nuggets.

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To all the uptight people who think this show is an abomination and an effront to society, calm down.  Really?  It's a reality show on TLC, the same people who brought us "Hoarders" and "Extreme Couponing."  What did you expect from Honey Boo Boo?  Second, people do live like this, accept it, and remind yourself you have no right to change their lifestyle; however, you can change the channel.  Let that be your protest, but I'm going to assume that you can't turn the channel, and doesn't it piss you off that I know that?