What if Too Short's "Money on the Floor" Lyrics Were Written by a Girl?

This is my response to Too Short's song "Money on the Floor".   I'll let his lyrics go first since he thinks bros should go before hos.  Then, I get my turn.  All I'm going to do is replace shes with hes and change some, but not all, gender specific lines.  Also, I'm going to take out some of the grosser lyrics that' might make you blush. 

Here are the lyrics to Too Short's misogynistic rap song "Money on the Floor":

I said hey lil momma, what’s the deal?
Talk to me, girl I’mma keep it real
I’ve been on you since you walked thru tha door
Now drop it low like there's money on the floor
Like there's money on the floor
Now drop it low like there's money on the floor!
Now drop it low like it’s money on the floor
Pick it up girl, pick it up, girl
Drop it low like there's money on the floor!
Pick it up girl, pick it up, girl
Drop it low like it’s money on the floor!

All that sexy dancing, the hair and the dresses, it’s so romantic
It’s so sexual, wiggle that body girl let it go
It’s got me intoxicated
Like drugs, it’s got me faded
The visual is amazing
3-D digital entertainment
The women are beautiful here
And they come from everywhere
From all over the world
Come here, you see the most beautiful girls
They make you clap, throw that back
Bend over and show that crack.
That booty is so damn fat
How you make it go like that?

She don’t believe in wearing panties under her skirt
No bra under her shirt
I like the way she werk
This ya one right here, baby, this your motivation
Make your cheeks applaud like a standing ovation
Let me buy you a drink and intox the cation
Hello, and then squared by this hustler here,
Main, main.. give the chick a Chinese name, name
One goal! Play head games,
But you want more, more!
Get it real within your world, it's mackin on Miami
Yeah they call me Earl
I rap and I rhyme but I used to sell that swirl
That white, white, white candycane and mother of pearl
It's right, right, right

Hook it up like a generator
And make electricity
With that booty, she don't miss da beat
I wanna kiss the freak
That ass is just a magical mystery
I can’t take that shit
Shopaholic, sellout, you got a badass shape, like Coco
She young but her body full of figure
You oughtta see her momma, they could pass for sisters.
For some strange reason, I gotta think. . .


NOW, here's my misandristic response with lyrics written from a girl's POV:


I said hey lil man, what’s the deal?
Talk to me, boy I’mma keep it real
I’ve been on you since you walked thru tha door
Now drop it low like there's money on the floor
Like there's money on the floor
Now drop it low like there's money on the floor!
Now drop it low like it’s money on the floor
Pick it up little man, pick it up little man
drop it low like there's money on the floor!
Pick it up boy, pick it up, boy
Drop it low like it’s money on the floor!

All that sexy dancing, the smell and the codpience, it’s so romantic
It’s so sexual, wiggle that body boy let it go
It’s got me intoxicated
Like drugs, it’s got me faded
The visual is amazing
3-D digital entertainment
The boys are beautiful here
And they come from everywhere
From all over the world
Come here, you see the most beautiful boys
They make you clap, throw that back
Bend over and show that crack.
That booty is so damn fat
How you make it go like that?

He don’t believe in wearing panties under his skirt
No bra under his shirt
I like the way he werk
This ya one right here, boy, this your motivation
Make your cheeks applaud like a standing ovation
Let me buy you a drink and intox the cation
Hello, and then squared by this hustler here,
Main, main.. give his piece a Chinese name, name
One goal! Play head games,
But you want more, more!
Get it real within your world, it's mackin on Miami
Yeah they call me Duchess
I rap and I rhyme but I used to sell that swirl
That white, white, white candycane and mother of pearl
Its right, right, right

Hook it up like a generator
And make electricity
With that booty, he don't miss da beat
I wanna kiss the freak
That ass is just a magical mystery
I can’t take that shit
Shopaholic, sellout, you got a badass shape, like Ice T
He young but he body full of figure
You oughtta see his daddy, they could pass for brothers. . . .

I effing hate Too Short.

Here's the video if you want to see how nastee he gets.  I just got the stupid idea to lampoon this video low budget style with my little Flip video camera with girls throwing money on the floor.

I wish I could throw Cash's poo and tell him to pick it like it's money on the floor!

I effing hate Too Short.